Where Agency Begins

Emmanuel Ikwuegbu on Unsplash

Over the past several weeks, we’ve been exploring agency — particularly its interweaving with choice, consequence, and accountability.

We’ve argued that leadership is not the accumulation of authority, but the cultivation of agency — in ourselves and in others.

That brings us to a couple of simple-sounding questions:

Where does agency begin?

And what does it look like when it does?

We can say for sure that agency doesn’t begin in adulthood, with a promotion, or in a leadership workshop.

It begins much earlier.

Long Before the Workplace

Long before someone joins a work team, much less, leads one, they will likely learn—one way or another—whether they have a choice, or a say, and whether their voice matters.

They may also learn that choices come along, hand-in-hand with consequences.

And finally, they may also learn whether initiative is welcomed — or corrected out of them.

Children absorb signals about agency every day:

•             Are they invited to make age-appropriate choices?

•             Are their questions treated as meaningful?

•             Are mistakes treated as learning — or as failure?

•             Are they allowed to experience the natural consequences of their actions?

These conditions shape more than behavior.
They shape a life posture.

Some children learn:

“I can choose.”
“I can try.”
“I can recover.”
“I can contribute.”

Others learn:

“Just tell me what to do.”
“Don’t take risks.”
“Stay quiet.”
“Wait for direction.”

Those lessons don’t disappear when childhood ends.

They follow people into classrooms, workplaces, and communities.

Agency Is Practiced

Agency isn’t a personality trait.
It isn’t just confidence.
It isn’t oppositional defiance.

Agency is the practiced capacity to make consequence-informed  choices.

It develops when adults create conditions where:

•             Choices are real (even if bounded).

•             Consequences are visible (and proportionate).

•             Reflection is encouraged.

•             Voice is welcomed.

When a child forgets a homework assignment and experiences a natural consequence — and then reflects on what happened — agency grows.

When a young person is invited to help solve a family problem instead of being shielded from it entirely — agency grows.

When a student’s perspective is sought in a classroom discussion — and taken seriously — agency grows.

This is not permissiveness.
It is guided responsibility.

The Long Arc

Adults who were encouraged to practice agency early often enter the world differently.

They are more likely to:

•             Take initiative without waiting to be told.

•             Admit mistakes without collapsing.

•             Engage disagreement without withdrawing.

•             Propose solutions instead of pointing to problems.

They have practiced choice.
They have practiced consequence.
They have practiced recovery.

In other words, they have practiced leadership — long before anyone called them a leader.

Conversely, when children are consistently over-directed, over-protected, or over-corrected, something else can take root:

Dependence disguised as compliance.

It may look like maturity.
It may even look like discipline.

But underneath, the habit of waiting has formed.

And waiting cultures — whether in families, classrooms, or organizations — rarely produce initiative.

A Question for Parents, Teachers, and Leaders

If leadership is the creation of conditions, then parenting and teaching are among the most formative leadership roles there are.

So this week, consider:

•             Where do I make choices for a young person that they could begin practicing for themselves?

•             How do I shield them from consequences they’re ready to experience?

•             How can I invite reflection instead of delivering correction?

Leadership development doesn’t begin in the workplace.

It begins wherever young people are trusted with meaningful responsibility.

Later this week, we’ll share a Field Note from a colleague who lives these questions at the intersection of early childhood education and executive leadership — and also as a parent.

For now, we’ll end where we began:

Where does agency begin?

Often, in the smallest moments — when a young person is trusted with a real choice, and supported in learning from what follows.